I had my first appointment today with my psychotherapist since discharge from the Clinic in Burwood. It was so good to be back in her familiar rooms in Campbelltown where I normally see. I saw her a few times while I was in the Clinic but it was at her Stanmore rooms.
It was a very interesting appointment on many levels, starting with before I even got to her. We were driving along the Freeway when I suddenly asked my husband, “Who are you?” “It’s Andy, Erin”, he replied a bit shocked
So here he was with the 18-year old alter who he had never met before sitting in his car, who didn’t know him, didn’t know where she was or where she was going. He explained all that to her but she just said, “No, we’re in Ireland and it’s 1980”. He decided to not argue with her but just told her she was safe and he was there to look after to her.
They got to the appointment and he introduced the 18 Alter to the psychotherapist who hadn’t met her before either. The alter started to cry she was so scared. Nothing made any sense to her. Who were these people and what did they mean about it being Australia and 2019?. They persuaded her to go into the therapist’s room and my husband, at her request, stayed. The therapist asked her to tell them something about herself. She said she had been kicked out of
One day they brought along a woman from The Salvation Army who introduced herself as Mary. She gave the 18-year old alter a sandwich which she ate hungrily as all the money her parents had given her was well gone so food was hard to come by. She had resorted to begging on the streets with the other young people. Mary wanted her to come and live in the Salvation Army Hostel where some of the young people lived, like Maeve and Patrick. The 18-year alter
At that point I switched back to my 57 year present day self totally unaware of what had happened.
My therapist talked me through what had happened, explaining that I had reported what had happened to me and the other children to The Salvation Army even though I thought I believed I never had. It was a huge relief. held terrible shame and guilt about that
He then left the room and we did EMDR to process what had just happened. It went well and I feel lighter and less suicidal than I have in a long time. Long may it last.
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