Tips For Healthy Boundaries

Personal Boundaries are the limites and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A persons with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening up to intimacy and close relationships

Know your limits

Before becoming involved in a situation know what’s acceptable to you and what isn’t. It’s best to be as specific as possible or you be pulled into the trap of giving just a little bit more, over and over, until you’ve give far too much.

Know your values

Everyperson’s limits are different and they’re often determined by their personal values. For example, if ou value family above all else, this might lead to stricter limits on how late you will stay at work, away from from family. Know what’s most important to you and protect it.

Lisent to your emotions

If you notice feelings of discomfort or resentment, don’t bury them. Try to understand what your feelings are telling you. Resentment, for example can often be traced to feelings of being taken advantage of.

Have self-respect

If you always give in to others, ask if you are showing as much respect to yourself as you show to others. Boundaries that are too open might be due to misguided attempts to be liked by elevating other people’s needs above one’s own.

Have respect for others

Be sure that your acts are not self-serving, at the expense of others. Interactions should not be about winning, or taking as much as possible. Instead, consider what’s fair to everyone, given the setting and relationship. You might “win”, but at the cost of a relationships’ long-term health.

Be assertive

When you know it’s time to set a boundary, don’t be shy. Say “no” respectufully, but without ambiguity. If you can make a compromise while respecting your own boundaries , try it. This is a good way to soften the “no”, while showing respect to everyone involved.

Consider the long view

Some days you will give more than you take, and other days you will take more than you give. Be willing to take a longer view of relationships, when appropriate. But if you’re always the one who’s giving or taking there might be a problem.

If you need support join our Private and Closed online Facebook Group for Child Abuse Survivors and those with CPTSD. Click here to join.

I would love to hear from you so please leave a comment. All feedback is much appreciated. Thank you. Erin

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