Survivor Guilt

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Survivor guilt is holds on tightly through time
Leaving you feeling there is no escape from it
You can’t turn back time to change anything
You would trade places in a heartbeat, if you could
It is actually a guilt for being alive, as if undeserving
         --- All the while you are worthy to live ---
Yet, images never leave, as the last moments replay
All the second guessing, of what could have been done
Even if choices were not realistic at the time
A haunting feeling that chases you through the days
              --- Trying to break you down ---
An ongoing effort to keep your head above water
To separate from what was not in your power
Unable to let go, but still trying to move on
Knowing there is only today to do the best with
                 --- So today it must be ---

Heidi Sands

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