It’s a shattering blow when you are let down by your Psychiatrist. It takes a lot of time and effort to develop a therapeutic alliance. When you have Complex PTSD relationships and trust are very difficult. So, when you do eventually trust someone it is devastating to be let down by them. It triggers all the old emotions of abuse and trauma that you have been trying to deal with. Exactly that happened to me yesterday.
I have had to change Psychiatrists as my previous Psychiatrist moved out of the area and it was too far for me to travel. Things were going well with the new one until I became unwell three weeks ago and it was decided that I needed an admission to the Clinic for safety. I also have Dissociative Identity Disorder and one of the alters, a dangerous one, was causing me to cut almost daily and with repeated visits to Emergency for stitching it seemed the most sensible strategy.
He had told me quite categorically if I ever needed to speak to him to call his Rooms and he would call me that day. Well I did call, several times and he never got back to me. We called to book an Admission we were told I would have to attend groups which I had never had to do before as they trigger me and I have panic attacks. We rang his Rooms again explaining this and still didn’t hear from him. Then yesterday an email was sent to my Psychotherapist saying that as I had refused to attend groups I could not have an admission at Ramsay Northside MacArthur but would need to find another facility for inpatient treatment. It was a cold and heartless email. I had not refused to attend group. I was UNABLE to attend groups. There is a huge difference. I had tried in the past and always had panic attacks so it had been agreed that it was pointless attending.I had been a patient there for four years and they were just pulling the rug right out from under me in a time of crisis via a third person.
I feel totally betrayed by the Psychiatrist and the organisation and am shocked that because a patient cannot attend groups through PTSD trauma they turn me away. It’s the only facility in the area other than the public system which is awful and just as triggering. So today, I feel shattered and devastated. Hung out to dry would be the right expression for it. It is not patient-centered care. It is pandering to the Health Insurance Companies and Management.
So I am left without a Psychiatrist even though he has never communicated with me himself. Very unprofessional. Saw my GP this morning and she was shocked by the whole situation. She had telephoned his room three times last week and her calls weren’t returned either. I feel abandoned and all the old feelings that go with that have returned.