I wrote my book under a pseudonym to protect my family as many of the perpetrators of the paedophile ring are still alive today and also my siblings were not in any way aware of what my parents had done. I do not feel it is my place to reveal or destroy their perception of my parents at this stage. There is a large age gap between my siblings and me and they are in their seventies and it would crush them to no avail. It would be selfish. I would have nothing to gain and they would have eveything to loose at a vulnerable stage in their lives. They were not at home when I was growing up so were completely unaware of what was going on and I sworn to secrecy and threatened to revealed nothing to them ever. When I was kicked out of home at the age of eighteen and ended up living up on the streets of Dublin I went into denial and blocked out all memories of abuse both sexual and emotional and it remained that way for thirty five years. It was only with the advent of the Royal Commission in Child Abuse in Australia and Cardinal George Pell’s comments “that the Catholic Church was not the only cab off the rank”, that my memories and flashbacks came flooding back. I became extremely mentally unwell suffering from Complex PTSD and Multiple Personality Disorder resulting in many suicide attempts and repeated hospital admissions. The book has arisen out of those my past experiences of abuse and survival and journey through the mental health system.