“…the past is in us, and not behind us. Things are never over.” ― Tim Winton, The Turning

I struggle everyday with the demons of the my past. Flashbacks are a constant visitor everyday that I have to battle and re-experience. A flashback is not merely a temporary memory flash of an original event but a complete, total reliving and re experience. The reliving is a total assault on your present sensibilities, transporting you back through smells as acute as an heirloom rose; taste real as a recently eaten repaste; visuals  vivid as a 3d movie in high definition with the power to completely block out whatever is presently happening around you in reality. You are transported back to the event in totality not just in memory. Anyone in the room currently with you no longer exists. They disappear down a tunnel of reality in which you’re already tentative grip is severed. Loved ones no longer exist. All that exists is the event which may have happened thirty years ago in clarity that is as sharp as if occurring now. Physical pain of rape is experienced.

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